Am I Getting Old?

As most of you know, I am a faculty advisor for the MMU Student Council. I've held this position for 4 or 5 years, and most of the time I enjoy it just fine. We give out grant money, work towards changing school policy, plan the Halloween Costume Contest and host two Blood Drives per year. Sure there are the minor annoyances, such as this coming Monday when I will be leaving the house by 5:30AM to meet the Red Cross truck for our Spring blood drive. But Blood Drives are good. And I am proud to say that we have such a strong group this year, all of whom have worked hard to initiate some really positive changes in our school.

But then there's the annual Mr. Cougar contest, hosted (of course) by the Student Council, and coming up on Tuesday. Sigh...
How do I explain Mr. Cougar? Think talent show crossed with...um...a beauty pageant? Senior boys compete against each other in swimsuits, formal wear and talent displays all for the glory of being crowned "Mr. Cougar." The contest is technically also open to girls, and actually we did have one female contestant last year (she had the comedian Rusty DeWees as her escort). But that's the only time I can ever remember a girl participating.

So Jen, our principal, despises this contest. So much so that I wonder why she even lets it go on. I agree that it can be tasteless and (no matter how hard we try to enforce certain rules), inappropriate at times. But the student body L-O-V-E-S it, and I think there would be a mutiny if it were ended. Personally, I would not be heartbroken if Jen put the kibosh to the contest...I usually have a sicky feeling in my stomach starting about a week before the show.

Yesterday and today were the act screenings. We (my co-advisor Don, as well as the principal and assistant principal) meet with the contestants to go over their acts and basically grill them about appropriateness of song lyrics and clothing choices, as well as stunt safety.

It kind of goes like this:

Me: "So, Mr.Cougar Hopeful, what exactly will you be wearing for the swimsuit portion of the contest?"

(Mr. Cougar Hopeful retrieves a strange, green "contraption" from his duffle.)

Adults in the room: (Collective) GASP!

Mr. Cougar Hopeful: "A Borat Mankini."

(The room falls silent.)

Now, I didn't (nor do I ever plan to) see the movie Borat, and I will not post a picture of a Borat Mankini here on my G-Rated blog. But I will go on the record as saying that the Borat Mankini is....well...um...NOT in following with the MMU dress code.

And so the mankini is nixed, and the questioning continues.

So here's a sampling of the questions you might have heard, had you been a "fly on the wall" at these screening sessions:
"You plan on being suspended from the ceiling how?"
"A Slip-And-Slide down the center aisle of the auditorium?"
"What will she/they/he/you be wearing/doing/singing?"
"What type of dance?"
"Your escort is who?" The most interesting answer here was Jane (the detention lady).

And the questions go on...

Last year when I was complaining about the impending doom of a Mr. Cougar contest, Matt suggested that maybe I'm getting too old to be in charge of the Student Council. Maybe he's right?

So, Blood Drive (good) on Monday and Mr. Cougar (not so good) on Tuesday. And oh yeah- Parent Conferences on Thursday. It's going to be a busy week!